Challenges of puting the idea into the page

Hello and welcome back once more to my progress in writing my first ever feature film.

If I’m keeping it completely real with you, it has been a couple of very challenging weeks. I was hoping that once the outline was completed, I would be able to write this first draft really fast, but it has not been the case.

I’ve been struggling with motivation due to a lot of reasons, and honestly, I was also feeling bad because I wasn’t bringing you guys as much advancement every week as I would like to. But in the spirit of why I started this whole documenting journey, let me walk you through what I’ve been dealing with.

Where am I currently at?

As you can already guess, the progress has been rather slow. Currently, I have about 4 pages written. The reason why I have so few is due to the fact that I don’t feel like writing. I think it has a lot of reasons, some of them do have to do with a lack of knwowing certain details about the story but there is a bigger underlying issue.

1. Pressure of making it good

2. Lack of direction

3. Lack of motivation

4. Disconnected from the story

As you can see, I have listed four reasons why I feel so little progress has been made, but ultimately what it all boils down to is that I haven’t been able to sit in front of the computer and write.

The reality is that before you can make anything, you need to be able to sit down and write it in a consistent basis, which I have not yet managed to do.

The reason is that I am having a hard time connecting with the material and seeing it through. I just keep revising what I have writen, or obsessing over little details of the plot, I would describe it as an overwelming feeling of problems that need to be fixed before I can move foward. To the point that even the tought of writing arises this uncomfortable feelings within me.

One of the things that I would like, is to get through the first draft as soon as possible. Even if it is horrible, then I will have something to fix.

I guess it is just pretty hard to deal with the idea or realization, rather, that the work we are producing is not to our liking, that it is incredibly flawed, and then we get so focused on "making it good" that we lose the passion for the project.

How am I approaching the challenges?

So, as you can see, this is a complicated issue. I can’t just outline my way out of this one. I think that what I need to tackle first and foremost is my feelings about the whole process. Because in my case, it is not a writer's block per se, but an unwillingness to sit down and face the work. There is this pressure that I feel. And what I am learning is that it has less to do with being lazy and much more to do with the emotional side of things. I am putting a lot of pressure on myself, not only of making it good but in writing it well from the get go. Plus all the deadlines I have.

I am curreently reading a book called Feel Good Productivity. I like the approach the author takes, treating productivity less as discipline or motivation and more as an emotion. I think that is exactly what is happening to me. It is not a lack of ideas, or an abscence of a routine (although having one is super helpful.) but an emotional barrier that is preventing me from even sitting down and writing, as I get this sinking feeling in my stomach every time I try to sit down and do the work. I need to get to the emotional root and solve it.

This, along with journaling, should be the cornerstone that allows me to sit and write every day, regardless of quality or even the amount written. The goal right now is to simply be able to write without feeling this emotional resistance.

I’ll keep you posted

Hope you liked this brief update. I’m doing my best with keeping it as real as I can with you guys, so I hope you find it useful. If you do, then please subscribe, and I’ll see you next week.